This post evolved from a comment that I was writing for a post on the mommy wars on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Even though I had already commented, I just couldn’t help myself--I had to comment again, especially after reading other people’s commentary and the recent I Surrender post.At the risk of pouring fuel on the fire, I thought I'd share a rarely articulated perspective in the mommy wars. Even though I made the SAHM choice (and would still make that choice today), here's 10 reasons I find myself envious of women who work outside the home:
1. At some point during the day you can go to the bathroom by yourself.
2. Your probably clean your house less because it's not getting messed up all day when your kid is at daycare. Or maybe you have a nanny and she cleans for you.
3. For the same reason above, you probably create less garbage (at home anyway) and don't have to pay for a bigger garbage cart for all those diapers.
4. You get to exercise your brain.
5. You have a reason to buy nice clothes.
6. You can call in sick and leave your kid in day care and have the day to nurture yourself (or go to the Blake Lewis Parade as one of my friends did).
7. You get to eat lunch with other adults and have adult conversations.
8. You probably at some point in your commute spend time in the car alone and can listen to something other than kid’s music, like hard rock or Howard Stern.
9. You haven’t compromised your career by opting out of the workforce.
10. You get PAID.
Having read this in review, I probably come across as a little bitter. I don’t know if it’s that or if it’s just that the grass is ALWAYS greener. We give up a lot for our children whether we stay home, work outside the home, or fall somewhere in between.
3 comments:
Like your list blog mama...right there with ya! I've decided that being a SAHM by choice is quintessentially paradoxical: it makes you crazy in the head and some moments you'd give almost anything for a break from the madness but you also wouldn't have it any other way.
A few additional comments on your list...
1. Hang in there...bathroom privacy does increase a teensy-tiny bit as the littles get older. Presently, I'm trying to teach my 6-year-old to adhere to some personal privacy practices of his own by shut ting the door when he uses the potty...a concept which seems utterly pointless and absurd to him. Whenever I get on him about it, he gives me this look which seems to say "Mom...why?! Everyone knows what a person does in here anyway!'
2. Amen. AmenAmenAmen. I've taken up calling my somewhat slobby ways "earthy" or referring to myself as an artsy hippie mom. It just seems better than admiting that my house is a wreck more often than not. In all fairness though, (as I frequently note to my husband) it's three against one (him and my two boys vs. me, the only who seems to care if things are neat and tidy!)
3. This too shall pass. My mom rolls her eyesa bit at all of us youngin's who preach conservation and green practices and use disposable diapers.
4. Indeed. Don't worry...that mossy feeling you feel in your head lessens...a bit...or maybe one just gets used to it. Hmm. Last night while my family and I were at a friend's house for dinner, my husband and her husband launched into a thoughtful conversation and my friend slipped me the latest Nieman Marcus catalog and whispered "Isn't that the cutest dress you've ever seen?" I must say, I was rather relieved for the diversion. Sometimes my brain is just too tired to work by 7pm.
Ok, I guess I'll stop there. Apparently, I'm making up for lost blogging time!
I LOVE your list. even though I'm new to the whole sort of SAHM thing, I feel ya already! I keep thinkin' wow it's 8 p.m. and mh husband, "gets' to be at work! while, I can't wait for the kids to sleep, so I can "try" to work! Hmmm... I gave up a steady salary for this???
mGood to here from you "veterans." :) There was some interesting commentary on this post at the SV Moms Blog, too. http://svmomblog.typepad.com/silicon_valley_moms_blog/2007/05/top_10_reasons_.html
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