Thoughts on Tipping this Labor Day

I’m--what I think--a good tipper. I consistently tip 20%--to the hairdresser, at the nail salon, and even more at restaurants, if we leave a significant mess behind (which is often the case with Ry) and the waiter doesn’t give us a dirty look.

But I’m realizing that THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE. I don’t get better service from being a good tipper. My last two hairdressers have both canceled on me three times each in the last six months, despite me consistently tipping 20%, which is a hefty sum, considering I’m paying for a cut and highlight. I know other clients aren’t tipping the same. My sister was shocked to find out how much I tip. And she goes to the same hairdresser and has never been canceled on.

The first inkling I had to leave my former hairdresser of five years was when I arrived 10 minutes late for an appointment and she freaked out because her next client, a male lawyer, was really uptight about punctuality. She was pretty catty with me about it, which surprised me, since over the course of a year, she made roughly $450 a year in services from him and more than $1000 off me in services and another $200 in tips! So tell me, who is the more valuable client? (omigod, that’s the first time I’ve added that up SCARY.) So when she canceled on me so she could go to her sister’s graduation and then rescheduled a week later (the day before I was to leave for my nephew’s wedding) and canceled again because she had strep throat, I finally decided to break up. I don’t expect her to work when she’s sick, but I do expect her to plan her calendar better.

So what’s the deal? Is tipping taken for granted? Am I under tipping??? Has the protocol gone up to 25 or 30% and no one has told me? Or does being a good tipper make me such a sucker that they think, “Oh she’s so nice, she won’t mind if I reschedule.” I also think that here in Silicon Valley where there’s a lot of money floating around people tip well just because they don’t want to be seen as (or acquire a reputation of) being cheap.

This topic has especially been rubbing me, ever since D returned from Japan. He’s been raving about the service he received there where it’s against custom to tip—it’s considered an insult since they take pride in their work and that’s sufficient. I also noticed that when we were in Glacier, most of the workers were foreign. Why? Because the local Montana kids don’t want those jobs and if they do have them, they provide sucky service.

I can’t help but to reflect back to when I waited tables, and I busted my ass. It helped that I lived in a small town and I was on a first-name basis with pretty much everyone who came through the door, but I only made $3.25 per hour and I lived off my tips, which averaged $30-$50 a shift which was pretty darn good considering that was in Idaho in the early 90s and people only tipped 10%, if that. So that’s why I’m good tipper (I know how hard the service jobs can be) but it just seems like today’s workers don’t merit it. Are we living in the age of entitlement? Or is this some skewed perspective I have?