Take me out to the ballgame...all in pink!

I love baseball games in the summer - hot dogs, popcorn and beer. What can be better?

We headed to see the San Jose Giants the other night. My son donned his baseball jersey, hat and glove. My daughter got dressed and choose tights, pink dress and high tops. Vive le diference!

Top 10 Reasons I’m jealous of women who work

This post evolved from a comment that I was writing for a post on the mommy wars on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Even though I had already commented, I just couldn’t help myself--I had to comment again, especially after reading other people’s commentary and the recent I Surrender post.

At the risk of pouring fuel on the fire, I thought I'd share a rarely articulated perspective in the mommy wars. Even though I made the SAHM choice (and would still make that choice today), here's 10 reasons I find myself envious of women who work outside the home:

1. At some point during the day you can go to the bathroom by yourself.

2. Your probably clean your house less because it's not getting messed up all day when your kid is at daycare. Or maybe you have a nanny and she cleans for you.

3. For the same reason above, you probably create less garbage (at home anyway) and don't have to pay for a bigger garbage cart for all those diapers.

4. You get to exercise your brain.

5. You have a reason to buy nice clothes.

6. You can call in sick and leave your kid in day care and have the day to nurture yourself (or go to the Blake Lewis Parade as one of my friends did).

7. You get to eat lunch with other adults and have adult conversations.

8. You probably at some point in your commute spend time in the car alone and can listen to something other than kid’s music, like hard rock or Howard Stern.

9. You haven’t compromised your career by opting out of the workforce.

10. You get PAID.

Having read this in review, I probably come across as a little bitter. I don’t know if it’s that or if it’s just that the grass is ALWAYS greener. We give up a lot for our children whether we stay home, work outside the home, or fall somewhere in between.

On The Road Again

CAR TRIPS with KIDS was the featured topic of one of my favorite e-newsletters from the Sesame Street Workshop. I used to LOVE road trips. Remember when you and your favorite road trip partner, jumped in the car with a back pack of clothes, some snacks and a map of some kind. Those were the days, when you could be spontaneous and decide in the morning that you wanted to be in Las Vegas that night to put a bet on your favorite basketball team. Boom, you were there in no time and your only worry was whether to stop at “In-and Out Burger” or to try one of those random diners, like the one with the giant dinosaur and thermometeroutside it. Who eats there anyway?

Now every road trip is a carefully orchestrated drama. Here is my checklist for any trip longer than 2 hours:
1. 2 kids and 1 husband. – (You ALWAYS need as much support as you can get. I've had to do it alone once - never again!)
2. Snacks, something not too sugary! Who needs 2 kids bouncing off the walls at 70 MPH
3. Drinks, ice chest maybe
4. Portable DVD player What did people do without these?
5. Movies for the DVD player – some for a 7yr old and some for a 4yr old and 1 compromise movie that they both like.
6. Toys – Pokemon cards, Barbie dolls and any absolutely necessary stuffed animals
7. Coloring books and crayons
8. Magnet paper dolls - These work for about 20 minutes, but hey take what you can.
9. Wipes/paper towel for accidents
10. Pillow, maybe blanket
11. Music – mine and for the kids. Hip hop to do in-car aerobics with and something mellow to help when they are coming down from the snack induced sugar rush.
12. Special surprises, in case someone melts down and needs something to look forward to. (Essential to any trip longer than 4 hours)
13. A battalion of car games that the WHOLE family can play while I try not to run anyone over. We like rhyming games and finding VW Bugs.
14. Candy - for when nothing else works!

David Levin at Sesame Street has some great ideas for ways to have a road trip that doesn’t involve blood shed. I’ve tried most and they work.

But I need more ideas as we are about to head out on a 6-hour trip to Los Angeles for a weekend, where everything is at least an hour away. We've not even talked about how to prepare to have grandpa in the car too!

HELP!!

This post can also be found at my personal blog http://www.starfishcircle.com/xiaolinmama/

School Volunteer of the Year

Well, the word is out. I finally quit my job and am a mom "with more time". This translates into "available to volunteer for everything" according to my children, kid's teachers and school principals. While being available to "parent" in person more often was one of the goals for my leaving my last job, it was not the ONLY reason. I decided to be fundraising consultant for non-profits, among other things. Read my new blog www.starfishcircle.com. I've got to quickly close the floodgates on what is becoming my other full-time job.

First, I have to say I LOVE working in my kids’ schools. I love reading to preschoolers and love doing art in my son's second grade class. I look at it as a privilege to be able to do it and a gift to me when I am there. Since I've been "self-employed" (2 months) I've organized the school wide jog-a-thon, scooped at the ice cream social, chaperoned 2 field trips, coordinated decorations for another major school fundraiser, coached a soccer team and worked in a class room at least once a week. It's totally me, overcompensating for not being able to volunteer as much as I would have liked in the past year.

Today at 10:30 a.m., I got an email asking if I could help take kids to he library at 1:30 p.m. Where do I draw the line? I know that I can say no anytime, but I am now caught up being on the short list for all school emergencies. Aargh! Summer break is coming up - a break for us all.

Funny, a few months ago when I was horribly unhappy in a toxic job, I dreamed of spending more time with the kids. I know this is exactly what I wanted, just think I need to learn to how to accommodate this all without driving myself crazy. Have I lost myself in the mix? How do people work from home when parenting gets in the way of business? The balancing act of having it all has shifted and yet continues in a whole new way…

Parenting SOS

What book should I read, what class should I take, to help me cope with my budding two-year-old? I need a class I can make it to once and leave with one tip I can put to use immediately. I need a book that's a fast read (and I can keep it in the bathroom). Perhaps there exists a terrible-twos blog or support group? Anyone, anyone?

Boys Playing with Dolls

I love this little picture I snapped yesterday at Monica and Audrey's house. Every time we go there it's like a foreign enchanted land for Ry, with all the Cinderellas, dollhouses, and pink.

Klepto Mom?

I’m not a klepto. I don’t enjoy stealing. I don’t want to steal. I don’t even know I’m stealing. But here’s the thing: I have the darndest time remembering bottled water at the bottom of my grocery cart. It’s hard enough keeping your 21-month old from tearing every glass jar off the shelf in the condiment aisle or completely destroying the candy display. How can I possibly remember to tell the cashier: “Did you get the water?”

Yes. It’s happened. The first two times I went back in and paid for the water when I noticed in my cart. The third time, my son was throwing such a fit the idea of going back in the store was like entering the gates of hell itself. So I rationalized it like this: how many times have I asked them not to put my Real Simple on the conveyer belt because I don’t want it covered in mystery ooze. But it doesn’t end up in my bag, yet I paid for it. I probably only go back a third of the time I get ripped off at the grocery store. Last week it was an $11 colander, so I felt it was worth the price of gas.

So I could probably avoid all this by doing the green thing and not buying bottled water at all. But until I get my new water filtration system, I have a new plan to avoid being the next feature Oprah does on “moms that steal.” I now put the water in the cart itself, not in the bottom. I can’t tell you how many times a well meaning cashier says, “next time you can leave it at the bottom.” Normally, I just smile and say, “okay,” yet continue to do it my way.

But last week, this cashier was downright rude about it. I heaved the water onto the conveyer belt. She gives me this totally annoyed look and tells me next time to leave it on the bottom. So, I say, “we’ll that doesn’t really work for me, I’ve walked out too many times without paying for it.” Did she change her tune? Did she seem to appreciate my honesty? No, she gave me another dirty look and litterly huffed. Maybe I caught her off guard, maybe she didn’t know what to say, but next time at that store, I just might do as she says and put it at the bottom . . . and forget it.