Happy Halloween!

Tonight was the first of many Halloween memories to come in our new home in our new neighborhood. Ry was joined by his friend Audrey and his cousin Megan (and chaperones) for a night on the town. We headed to the "best street" in the neighborhood for some serious action.

Blog Mama meets Elizabeth Edwards

Yes, that’s me in this picture with Elizabeth Edwards, yes as in the wife of former vice presidential candidate John Edwards (as a feminist with identity issues I shouldn’t be describing her that way, but I did it anyway). She’s written a book: Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers. As part of her book tour, I had the amazing chance along with 14 other bloggers from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog to sit down and talk with her last Tuesday.

For those of you who don’t know much about her, you can read her bio on the Senator’s web site, but what you won’t read here is how her oldest son died at age 17 in a no-drinking, no-drugs car crash (the wind blew his Jeep over and it burst into flames) or that she underwent fertility treatments to start a second family and her third child was born when she was age 48 and her fourth at 50! More widely known is that she was diagnosed with breast cancer the day after the general election in 2004.

She’s been on my mind quite a bit the last week, and I wrote a couple posts for the Silicon Valley Mom’s Blog that included references to our meeting: What I didn’t Ask Elizabeth Edwards and Other Random Thoughts (like how I picked my outfit that day) and Six Feet Tall and Bullet Proof (how meeting her is helping me put my role as provider/protecter into perspective). As you’ll see in these posts, I really find her to be an inspiration--as a mother, writer, career-minded women, and supportive wife--and am looking forward to reading Saving Graces.

Tea Tangent

I need to rant about tea today. Tea doesn't have much to do with being a mama except that I am a mother and I really like tea. I'm having a hard time readily find good tea and I'm ticked.

Let me clarify a few details. First of all, I like iced tea best. Fresh, crisp, clear cold tea with lots of ice -- ALL YEAR ROUND. People drink cold water, iced sodas and frozen frapp-a-doodle drinks so I don't want sassy comments about my preference for cold tea. Secondly, I like my tea UNsweetened. I don't care if other people want to add aspartame or sugar, but I believe that tea should be available in it's pure plain brewed form and additions should be optional.

Seattle is a coffee town and tea lovers are treated like second-class citizens. I'm shocked by the poor quality tea I have been served; no coffee drinker would accept coffee that is 3 days old, bitter and murky so why do restraunteurs and baristas assume that treatment is okay for a tea customer?! And enough with "fountain tea." That stuff is NOT tea - it is nasty yuck and should be banned. Again, would you drink your coffee from a spout on the coke machine? Noooo, I didn't think so.

Good tea is pretty easy. Take some decent tea leaves and cover them with really hot water. Serve as is or cool slowly and add ice. The end. Not difficult. At work I often buy fountain cups filled with ice and pour my own brewed tea over the ice to make delicious, fresh iced tea. But I shouldn't have to carry my own tea bags as I go about town! Starbucks offers an iced black tea all year round, but when I order it, I have to specify no syrup (which of course I do) and more than once I've taken a big slurp a few miles from the drive-through only to taste the tell-tale slickery sweetness of sugary syrup. Ugh.

When in Chicago for work recently, I fell in love with ArgoTea, a local tea cafe that is hoping to become the "Starbucks of Tea". I'm thinking of writing them a letter about opening in Seattle - maybe I'll promise them I'll run their first store here. Until then, I'll keep scouting out places that offer a decent glass of iced tea. And I think I'll tuck some tea bags in my purse… just in case!

The Great Orator

As many of you have heard before my son, C, is in the second grade. He is a great kid. He is kind, a good friend to many other boys and great soccer player. Geez, I’m mom-gushing! Anyway, at school he is taking a public speaking class. He is a shy boy in many ways, so this class has been awesome for him. (I remember him crying at the pre-school circle time, when his teacher asked his name.) He now has no problem speaking in front of his peers and he is quite the orator! He’s done speeches on his favorite family tradition, his hero and his favorite toy – stuff he can talk hours about.

This week’s speech is on his “greatest accomplishment”. As his mom and #1 fan, I can name a million, like the time he stood up for his best friend, when other kids were being mean or the time he got moved up a grade because he was such a good reader or the time he scored his first soccer goal….of course, I could go on and on. But in preparing for this particular speech, he, of course, could not think of one thing that he was most proud of.

Maybe I am just over analyzing this, but a ton of “experts” say that some of the most important things we can teach our kids are “self-worth and thinking critically”. What does this really look like? Having your child be able to discern how great he is- Without the benefit of looking through mom’s “rose-colored” glasses? How do we instill a sense of positive identity in second graders? I used to work at this great non-profit that talked a lot about positive child development. http://www.projectcornerstone.org/html/assets/index.htm I led parent groups and workshops about this exact topic, but it is always different when they are YOUR kids, right? Well no it isn’t but, it is different when the issue confronts you at home at the kitchen table. I guess you take the knowledge you’ve learned and put on your best mommy hat and then do your best.

C is set to talk about his greatest accomplishment this Friday. He threw ALL my great ideas aside and decided that his greatest accomplishment was winning a board game a few weeks ago. Our family played a game, boys against girls, and my husband and C won! (Easy considering, my partner is 3 year old!:) Just kidding.) Despite all my worries, I’m proud that he chose something that was a family tradition and that he found joy in something I had already even forgotten about. What a great reminder that it IS those small things and the random moments that mean the world to our children!

HELP!

OK, I expect a record number of comments in response to this post! Here's what I need from ALL of you: Potty-training tips! And I need them NOWWWWWWW! C'mon...dish people! And yes, I already have a five-year-old who is potty-trained...but I still need help with my two-year-old. (I have no shame. And apparently, no expertise either.) HELP! HELP! HELP!

Maaaaaaaybe I should care?

So this was a new thing for me today: a mid-trimester progress report for my kindergartener. Wow! Times have changed. But, we all know that, so on to the progress report. Under "Important Relationship and Study Skills" my dear boy received two O's (for Outstanding...duh, I coulda told them he was that!), four S+'s (for Satisfactory, and I guess the + means he's extra satisfactory) and two S's. Apparently he's just plain old satisfactory when it comes to "Participates in class" and "Presents neat work." All that just made me kind of chuckle and roll my eyes a little. At that point half of my brain was still stuck on the fact that I was actually reading a mid-trimester report for someone who still loves his stuffed doggy and quite often just wants his mommy.

Then I got to the "Academic Progress" section. Yes friends, kindergarten in 2006 is indeed, an "academic" endeavor. But again, you all knew that...I just still think it's funny. Don't mind me, I'm living in the past. It's nice here. So, dear boy received no O's in this category. (Enter: the first of the maaaaaaaaybe I should care? thoughts/feelings) He did receive two S+'s in Bible and Penmanship. (Think: private Christian school...perhaps they feel they owe us a progress report as we're paying dearly for this kindergarten experience? Hmm. I wonder what Jesus would've gotten an S+ in when he was five.) Four regular S's were given for Science, History/Social Studies, Mathematics and Art. An up to this point unheard of S- was given for P.E. and (drumroll....) four N's ("Attention Needed") for English, Spelling, Reading and Phonics.

My reactions to all this were, in this order: Surprise: at the whole thing. Amusement: that the envelope was sealed and addressed to "The Parents of Dear Boy." Uh, in case anyone hadn't noticed, the kindergarteners CAN'T READ each other's progress reports because they CAN'T READ! Pride: the two O's were the first two things I read. Skepticism: I think his work is neat enough, thank you! Surprise again: N for English? The kid never stops talking! Neeeeeeeever! They must be terribly, terribly confused. Or hard of hearing. Confusion: wait, don't ALL the kindergartners fall under the "Attention Needed" category for spelling and reading? Hmm...yeah, they probably all got that...isn't that kind of, oh, what's the word....OBVIOUS?! (And what we're paying for?!) Smugness: no one on God's green earth can make me care that dear boy was given an S- for P.E. You're talking to an art major here people. And Daddy was a piano performance major. So yeah, just tryyyyy to make us care. I'll care when and if it ever bothers dear boy...til then, he can run and throw like a girl for all I care. (Sue me.) Disbelief: they can say there is attention needed for phonics but I live with the kid and he tells me what letter nearly every word he says starts with based on the sound he makes and then proceeds to practice that sound, think of other words that start with it, rhyme with it, etc. etc. He's probably just too busy listening (got an O for that!) at school to show off. Is there a category for humility?! Pride again: penmanship was always a source of pride for little me as well. Who cares about math when you can write the word 'math' reeeeaaaally pretty?! And lastly, Horror: only an S for art?! Well now, this IS cause for concern! Back to that color wheel boy and no dinner until you can name and paint the primary, secondary and terciary colors!

Clearly I jest. But honestly, does not a mid-trimester progress report for a five-year-old not just beg for it?! (For the record: love the school, love the teachers, love the boy. Not in that order.)

It's beginning to sound alot like...the holidays!

Can you feel it? The holidays are right around the corner…Halloween, Christmas, and my personal favorite, Thanksgiving. I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I LOVE the idea of giving gifts, but hate how commercial it is and how much it costs me in the end. I have only great memories of going door to door collecting candy from my neighbors at Halloween, I HATE that costumes today can cost a fortune and that now I am a MOM that has to worry about my kids actually eating ALL that candy.

Regardless, Halloween is here and we finally decorated our front porch. This week after much badgering from the kids, I broke down and pulled out the decorations. I forget how much fun it is each year. We hung ghosts from the trees and put three huge pumpkins out front. The kids tried on the old costumes and put the pretzels, mini toys and of course, candy, we bought in a big bowl.

One thing I love about our neighborhood is that there are a lot of kids on our street. So with ours being the first decorated house on the street, we had kids from all over stopping to check it out. We had parents cruise by with the “Darn, I guess it’s our turn to pull out the old bins of decorations next” look. Being the newest family on the block, we had folks stop by and tell us tales of the Halloween’s past on the street.

In our old neighborhood, we had years where we had 2-4 sets of kids stop by. For a while, I thought everyone had abandoned the Halloween of my youth and headed for the mall. It was a huge disappointment for us with 4 bags of chocolate ready to be handed out by an excited pre-schooler and mommy! Thank goodness, I only buy candy I like to eat.

Our new neighbors tell us that several of our neighbors go all out with their Halloween displays and that we have scores of kids so that we better prepare at least 200 pieces of candy. As expensive as that sounds – this is the reason we moved to this over priced Silicon Valley neighborhood – kids galore and families ready to join in on the fun. Idyllic sounding, picture perfect, worth the effort – a lot of trips to the door. You bet! We can’t wait! Bring on the Holidays!

Speaking of money...

Ok, I need some advice and wisdom, particularly from those of you with school-age kids, who likely have a bit more experience with my most recent issue: fundraising. Both of my kids have participated in a cooperative preschool system for the past couple of years (with which I have a love/hate relationship) and, three weeks into the school year, the fundraising has begun! Now, my daughter turns two years old this week. She can barely pronounce the word "cheese" which she loves and eats everyday, let alone the words, "my cooperative preschool needs extra money, will you buy a Christmas wreath?" So now it is finally clear to me that this is really a parental activity. I'm selling Girl Scout cookies all over again, and let me tell you, I have a history of being the scout with the worst sales record in the troop. I have a visceral aversion to selling things.

Trying to be a good sport, though, I have spent the last few days pondering to whom I would sell. The easy target would be local friends and family, who might oblige us out of love, but really, deep-down would never have otherwise purchased a Christmas wreath either on principle or out of (understandable) thriftiness. Our family is the type who is much more likely to just go cut down some branches and make our own Christmas decorations. We live in the Evergreen State! Paying for one is a most pointed example of impracticality. The other option would be to take my wreath order form to work and leave it out with a little self-deprecating note about how annoying little fundraiser starting so early these days. Honestly, though, I sense this concept is here to stay, and I feel like I can't start in too early with the co-workers or they will burn out and become bitter. I think the kid should at least be out of diapers.

So I need the real story from you mamas: what does my future hold? How many of these can I expect per school year per child? Is anyone able to approach it in a way that makes it more tolerable? I feel like I'll be able to get behind the fundraising a little better when my child is actually able to comprehend the idea, or if it is for a particular cause, like world hunger. Right now, though, I want to just pay the extra $50 I owe and finger paint.

The Sippy Cup of My Dreams

Okay, so there is a ton of baby gear out there and some I like, some I love and lots I could do without. But lately I've been dreaming of a couple of things that, as far as I can tell, do not yet exist. So I'm calling all savvy parents and/or you inventor types to help me get my hands on two imaginary items.

The perfect bib
I believe that infants and toddlers learn a lot from food. The journey from tray/plate/bowl to mouth is an educational one that develops the mind and many motor skills in addition to the palate. But it is also one of the messiest adventures ever! And most bibs are not up to the challenge. The perfect bib must be:

Big enough to cover the mess. I'm not sure I want long sleeves, but I'm tired of gaping neck holes and barely-to-the-bellybutton coverage. If I have to change his clothes after he eats, then why am I bothering with the bib?

Repellent or at least resistant to liquid. Many bibs keep chunks of food at bay, but still allow liquid to soak through. Those bibs may save me a few stain-fighting seconds, but I still have to spend way too many minutes changing his clothes and washing the wet ones! Not good enough.

Easy to wash and dry. Although I might consider one that rinses under the tap, the perfect bib can be tossed in the washer and dryer (and still repel liquids). Another feature that is affected by wash-ability is the bib closure. Velcro can be quick, but it doesn't hold up very well in the wash so I would prefer a button, snap or tie closure.

Small, light and hip. Babies eat everywhere so a bib needs to be portable and packable. And a cartoon character print or cutesy-cute won't do. The perfect bib works well and looks cool.

The perfect cup
Sippy cups have saved the sanity of many parents. At my son's Montessori daycare, they teach the babies to drink from tiny tumblers which is so adorable and very amazing but the reality is sometimes a kid needs to drink on the road. So the sippy cup of my dreams would:

Be easy to drink from but not leak! Okay, so I learned the difference between sippy and tippy and Jeeper has the sippy kind so they shouldn't leak, right? Wrong! Even if they don't leak out of the spout, they leak out of the screw-on top. I'm tired of wet seats, laps and diaper bags. Argh!

Not have a handle, but still be easy to hold. I especially loathe the kind with the removable handle because it is one more thing to lose. But there should be some shape or curve that makes it easy for little fingers to grip.

Keep the drink tasting good. This is my hugest gripe. Grab your little one's sippy and take a good long swig. You'll join my revolution! That foul, plastic taste does not seem healthy.

Now that you know how I spend my spare moments imagining improvements to baby gear, I'm hoping someone out there has recommendations that will make my dreams come true!

Grocery Store Challenged

Since we're on the topic of money, I thought I'd share one of my challenges with spending more than necessary - at the grocery store. Whenever I read something like "Top 10 Tips for Saving Cash" in a magazine, always included is the advice to make a list when going to the store. I make the list. In fact I usually have to make lists three times a week. I seem to be grocery store challenged. Even with the list, I still end up needing to go back to the store 3 or more times a week! This can't be good for the budget. You know the saying, 'I can't get out of Target without spending less than $100', well for me it's the grocery store, and each little trip seems to be at least $50. Not only is there the money I spend in the store, but the time and gas used to go back to the store each time. Now, part of the challenge is that we have a goal these days of eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. To achieve this goal, I also spend some time at the local farmers market, too, but fresh fruit and veggies only stay fresh so long. Inevitably another store trip is needed to get the next 3 day supply. I've tried the weekly menu thing, but our schedule seems to be a bit up in the air each week. The times when I do a BIG shopping trip with absolutely everything we'd need for 7 days worth of meals, plans end up changing, we don't eat at our own home (or my husband has a business dinner) and food goes to waste. I think the only thing that bugs me more than making too many grocery store runs and overspending is wasting food.

I don't really have a resolution for my challenge at this point. I did just read about buying home supplies on Amazon . . . I don't even know yet what they offer (but I've heard diapers are available - cheap, too) but I think I'll check it out. If I can keep my grocery store runs down to 2 a week and then maybe get most of my Target-like purchases online, I'll save gas money for sure. (And because we're Amazon Prime members, we should get free shipping on our orders.) Well, I'll have to post an update on all this in a week or so. If anyone has any other cost cutting ideas, please feel free to send them my way. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to get to the grocery store. I'm trying not to freak-out since I was just there . . . . yesterday.